How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize