I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Randomize
