I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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