That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
