my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
And then my night got REAL pukey
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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