your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
