Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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