if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
