I CAN MOONWALK!
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
