He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
