Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
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