i just had sex bonerless
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
