"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
