Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
