She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
