The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
We don't watch enough power rangers
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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