where am i from again
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
