I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
