Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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