Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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