Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
