I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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