so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
