I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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