i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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