I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
