I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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