talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
