You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Randomize
