im about as happy as oj after his trial
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
