last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
