I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Randomize
