Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
