Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
