There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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