Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
