I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
