I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
