I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
He kissed a someone with a penis
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
