If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
