Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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