PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
