ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
