so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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