# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize