saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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