Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
