Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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