Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Randomize
