chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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