oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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