what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
