i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
