He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize