Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
