KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
