Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
