so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
