if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
