why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
