I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
