I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize