If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
